Pollock – the Antrim Ali
Once in a while there comes along a hero. Muhammed Ali, Brian O’Driscoll, Rylan, Michael Pollock. It’s early days for Pollock. He has a nice soft voice that is a bit Louis Walshish but he can work on that. What he doesn’t need to work on though is his talent. His goal lit up Ireland on a cold Sunday afternoon such was the majestic execution. His celebration will live long in the memory and women swooned as his under-short garments gave him a billowing groin area as he leapt into the Andersonstown air in sheer joy. Yet, there were other heroes too. We’ll come back to Pollock.
Conor Murray deserves a mention. Rumours that his legs had lengthened over the winter by hanging upside-down from a bannister in school was proven in the affirmative as a noticeably taller Murray used his longer limbs to cover more grass than the average man. He scored a rake of points I think and was replaced by Conal Kelly to give the Breffni lads a break. Kelly didn’t disappoint as his baldy complexion created a dazzling experience for the tired and beaten Cavan side under the Casement lights.
Conor Murray, Christmas morning
Ryan Murray deserves a mention. The 19-year-old Civil Engineering student at Queen’s University has overcome the expectation of being Conor Murray’s younger brother and established himself as the smallest footballer to score a point for Antrim since Aidan Hamill in 1967. It’s not easy for Ryan. He’s the Phil Neville, the Anton Ferdinand, the Kolo Toure. The brother who has to live up to the lofty expectations of being the brother of a giant.
Ryan’s hero
Michael McCann was the McCann we all expect. The All-Antrim hero. The tee-totalling midfielder is the Scholes of Antrim GAA. He never lets you down apart from the random scything tackle. He’s taller than Scholes and doesn’t have red hair.
The game was tit-for-tat early on as Conor Murray notched Antrim’s first point with a 50-yard left footer whilst waving at a “Bukey” in the crowd. Sean McVeigh, from London, Cockneyed over a point from play but was red-carded for his English brogue at full time. One of the turning points was Cavan’s goal from a penalty. Kerr, despite carrying visible winter timber, purposely allowed Cavan to score their goal in an attempt to replicate Ali’s rope-a-dope technique. Cavan’s exuberance at scoring against Kerr was their downfall. They exerted so much energy celebrating that they were left open for the kill. The St Gall’s keeper’s mind-games won the day.
Pollock was the star show. On a day when all six starting forwards scored, he topped the lot. Although he cruelly ribbed a sobbing Niblock before the final whistle for only scoring one point, he deserved his moment. Despite his ill-fitting under-garments and general niceness, he displayed his ruthlessness in scoring the key goal. It will be talked about for years to come and the new Casement bronze statue design may be constructed in his goal-scoring pose.
RATINGS IN THE FORM OF WOLFE TONES SONGS:
C Kerr – YOU’LL NEVER BEAT THE IRISH (7/10)
K O’Boyle – ON THE ONE ROAD (7/10)
P Doherty – THE MEN BEHIND THE WIRE (7/10)
N Delargy – WOMEN OF IRELAND (7/10)
T Scullion – JANEY MAC, I’M NEARLY 40 (7/10)
J Crozier – WE SHALL OVERCOME (8/10)
J Carron – CROPPY BOY (7/10)
S McVeigh NO IRISH NEED APPLY (8/10)
M McCann – GOODBYE MICK (8/10)
C Murray – THE REBEL (8.2/10)
K Niblock – BIG STRONG MAN (7/10)
B Herron – IN BELFAST (7/10)
M Pollock – THE BOLD FENIAN MAN (9.5/10)
M Herron THE GREAT FENIAN RAM (7/10)
R Murray – PADDLE YER OWN CANOE (7.5/10)
Sub: C Kelly – NOT ON LONG ENOUGH TO BE RATED
Hitting The Bar 